Releasing my inner Batman

Bats have always kind of creeped me out. They're not exactly cute and cuddly with their sharp teeth and beady black eyes that shine out of their fury little heads, not to mention their sharp claws which are more than capable of an eye gauge. I never liked evening trips to the Sydney Botanical Gardens, the fear of evil swooping bats far outweighed beautiful sunsets. Nope, bats have never been up there with horses and dolphins on my favourite animals list, and they certainly weren't up there on my things-to-see-in-Lanquin list. Still, somehow the little critters managed to wriggle their way onto our two day agenda.

So how did it get to this point? We'd decided that a two day stopover in Lanquin and Semuc Champey - quoted as being Guatemala's most beautiful destination - was in order on our way north to the famous Mayan ruins of Tikal. First, however, we were back on the road in a big way, for a gruelling day of travel which started on the 5am shuttle in Todos Santos. After a long 12 hours and with connections in the tiny town of Buenos Aires (not quite like the one in Argentina), Aguacatan, Sacopulos, Uspantan and Coban we fiiiinally reached Lanquin, well known for its caves. And, equally relieving to having survived the landslide prone road to Coban in one piece, was arriving at 'El Retiro'. Situated about half a kilometre from the centre of Lanquin, this place just had the chilled out vibe we were craving. Dotted with hammocks, it sits on the bank of a fast flowing river in the middle of a green valley, cows lazily grazing nearby. We were lucky enough to get the loft room of a dorm, so we paid the same price for what was essentially a private room, a short climb up a wooden ladder climb. You could definitely lose yourself in a place like this and that's just what we did. The next day consisted of a big sleep in, breakfast at the conveniently located restaurant 20 metres from our door, after which we spent the day lazing in hammocks reading our books, the lodge cat never far away. The only thing we had scheduled for that day was a visit to 'the bat cave' in the evening. Why would I opt to do this you ask, given my position on bats? Quite simply it was a mix of rave reviews from people we'd met the night before over a beer, and a little bit of coaxing from Bec. So I agreed to go, only after I was assured that no, the bats wouldn't touch me.

5pm came around quickly and it was then that we embarked on our journey, lined up like sardines in the back of a ute with Richard and Georgia, an English couple who'd also signed up for the tour, and of course, a tour guide. And within a few minutes of arriving, what was I doing but holding a bat. No the bats wouldn't touch me but there was the opportunity to touch a groggy bat, woken by the guide who retrieved it from a nearby crevice. Not one to shy away from a challenge I somewhat reluctantly held the bat for a few seconds before gladly passing it on. Later I'd find myself holding a scorpion spider which the guide found inside the dark depths of the cave, so it was bats and spiders in the same sitting, quite a big deal for me!

 A sleepy bat and getting acquainted with a Scorpion spider

Anyway, back to the cave. The point of the tour was to venture about a kilometre inside the well-lit cave to see the thousands of inhabiting bats getting their last hour of beauty sleep before undertaking their nightly activities. After this, we would head back the way we came just in time for sunset, at which point, the bats fly out of the cave in their thousands to do their bat thing. Apparently, we were told, this is quite a sight. The cave itself was beautiful and, while awfully slippery, we had the benefit of the guide's visions of certain rock formations - my personal favourite, a sombrero wearing skeleton... . We even had time to take a detour to another bat sleeping hole. This, I discovered as I scaled more than my height up a very narrow crescent (thankfully with a little guide help), was a detour not for the faint hearted, and looked more like a Spiderman manoeuvre to be honest.

At around 6:30pm we emerged from the cave, dusk quickly falling, and sat eagerly at its entrance, awaiting the arrival of the bats. Almost on cue as the first couple of bats flapped their little bat wings toward the diminishing light, we were all 'Wooooow's. With that, the guide quickly informed us: 'this is nothing'. And sure enough, it was nothing. Not more than five minutes later we were inundated with the sound of intense flapping and the sight of thousands of little red eyes flashing in time with our cameras. It was serious rush hour in this bat cave, very fascinating to experience and, to my great relief, I wasn't touched once (except by Richard who thought it amusing to simulate bat landings on my head).

 Bats in flight

The following morning we made our way to Semuc Champey. This time our journey in the back of the same ute would last a tumultuous 40 minutes, the space a tad more crowded with 15 people. We also made a quick pit stop in the local hospital so that poor Bec, whose hand and arm had inflated Michelin Man style after an unidentified insect bite, could get a shot of antihistamine. Once arrived, destination one was another cave, but this time not of the bat variety. On this expedition we were to explore the stalactites and stalagmites by candlelight, at points up to our necks in water! It took quite a bit of getting used to, particularly for me who is not a great fan of confined spaces. I only wish I'd been able to bring my camera with me as the sight of us wading in the dark, candles in hand, was quite unique. The climax of the excursion was definitely the fast-flowing waterfall at the end. After squeezing through an opening between two large rocks and with the aid of a rope, we tread cautiously through the dark (candle-less this time) under the gushing water and jumped into the pool below. It was definitely an adrenalin pumper.

After about 40 minutes inside the cave we eventually saw the light and were soon back on dry land, which wouldn't be for long. Metres from the cave's entrance was a homemade tree swing, the challenge being to swing out over the water, making sure to let go when the guide instructed (the alternative being to land on the rocks on your way back). I managed to let go slightly too late, flying two metres higher than necessary. The next challenge was to getting to shore without being swept away by the very strong current. Reassuring was that we had a holidaying lifeguard on the tour, always a plus in these situations. With this in mind, the activity that followed - 'tubing' down the river in an inflated tyre - was much more enjoyable than expected.

And then there was the big finale, Semuc Champey's main attraction: its natural pools. The bonus? A 25 minute steep uphill hike to a viewpoint, the 'Mirador'. Surprisingly undeterred by our last hiking expedition up the Santa Maria volcano in Xela (probably because this one had a time limit), we sweated our way up, sidestepping moss covered rocks and clambering up vertical stairs. And I wasn't being sarcastic when I said this was a bonus. While I enjoyed cooling off in the fresh water pools afterward, it really was something to get a bird's eye view of the pools' pyramid-like form, the turquoise spilling over in the midst of a lush blanket of jungle which was filled with noisy howler monkeys. Apparently, however, the pools aren't always this way. According to our guide, being the rainy season a down pour not weeks before had turned the dazzling turquoise to a murky brown. We were lucky.

 The view from the Mirador

So Lanquin and Semuc Champey had come back with the goods, Lanquin softening a once cold spot I had towards bats, Semuc Champey living up to its beautiful reputation. On top of that, we'd supported local business by arranging all our tours through 'El Retiro', whose employees span over 20 local families, all of whom delivered a fantastic and memorable experience. This place was definitely a Guatemalan highlight.

Todos Santos makes you smile

We’re still trying to maintain a tight timeline in order to have any time at all in Europe. With this in mind, the thought of sacrificing a day to jumping between chicken buses all the way to Todos Santos, which is up near the Mexican border, was understandably put in the ‘should we or shouldn’t we?’ category. Funnily enough it was the guide books (that we sometimes give the brush) that won us over. One said Todos Santos was ‘as raw as Guatemalan village life gets’, the other said it was not to be missed. We were sold!

It took almost a full day of chicken bus bliss to get there, mainly because the bus drivers wont drive until their bus is bursting at the seams, but we’re now used to and expectant of stopping and starting every kilometre or so. Luckily for us the road between Huehuetenango and Todos Santos is one of the more beautiful, if unpaved, so the usual delays didn’t matter because we were more than spoiled with the scenery, the bumpy road winding you up through the Cuchumatanes mountains.

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Climbing the Cuchumatanes mountains

By the time we reached Todos Santos we were in definite need of a smile and, to give some insight into how we were feeling, I’ll step back a few days. Before hitting the road to Todos Santos we’d spent a few days in Quetxaltenango (or Xela as it’s widely referred to in Guatemala – pronounced She-lah). Apart from tasting some of the best Indian food we’ve had since we left home, at a place called ‘El Sabor de la India’, and getting excited about a rather average hamburguesa Australiano at ‘Café Babylon’, this place wasn’t very exciting. Exciting, no. Insane, torturous and grueling, yes! For some absurd reason we agreed to accompany a German girl on a hike up the Santa Maria volcano on Xela’s outskirts. According to this girl, who was staying in the same hostel as us and wanted the ‘group’ discount, Santa Maria was the reason people come to Xela. Later we would read that ‘the reason’ is actually a rather difficult hike, to put it lightly, and ‘rough and ruggered’ according to one guide book. A couple of people we spoke to after the event - cause that's what it was - were quite surprised that we’d attempted it in the first place. Well we did, and it was certainly a once in a lifetime experience because I’m sure as hell not doing it again! 4am wakeup, 15 kilometres and six hours of hiking up and down what, at times, seemed like a vertical path. The best part? We made it to the top half an hour after the clouds had covered the volcano’s summit for the day, so instead of viewing for miles the spectacular sight of Guatemala’s volcano range, all we saw was a blanket of white. I hope I’ve successfully conveyed the sarcasm in that ‘best part’ comment because, as we sat in the freezing cold at the top, it became one of those ‘why on earth did I put myself through that’ moments. For us it was six hours of serious leg pain and gasping for gradually disappearing oxygen and, having rushed to get to the top only to miss the whole point of the trek, it certainly wasn’t one our greatest achievements. It will nonetheless be forever memorable for the physical pain factor, which lasted for nearly a week after.

The clouds that beat us to the top of Santa Maria

So yes, by the time we reached Todos Santos, after a full day of lugging our 30 kilogram lives on our very sore legs, we weren’t in the best of moods. The first item on our agenda was definitely finding a place to stay for the night. We’d read about the ‘Hotal Familiar’ and, being less than 100 metres from the bus stop, we decided this would be a good option. And it was until we were told it would cost 200 Quetzals (about AU$30) for the night, quite expensive for our usual standards. Our backpacking instinct told us we should seek out a plan B and, when the owner saw the look on our faces, she gave us the choice of staying in a ‘house’ a ‘ten minute walk’ away for 90 Quetzals. This was definitely more up our alley.

As it would turn out, the ‘house’ turned out to be the family home, inhabited for the most part by Swiss-German Roman, whose Mayan wife and kids prefer to stay in the hotel with its flat screen TV. The ‘ten minute’ walk was also a bit of a misconception for our decrepit conditions, as it turned out to be almost completely uphill, steep uphill. So, with our 30kg and legs burning with Santa Maria fuelled lactic acid, it took us about 25 minutes to reach the family home, all the while trying to conceal our pain to conduct polite conversation with the very friendly Roman. And we were more than relieved to reach our final destination and collapse on our beds and, after catching our breaths, it wasn’t long before we saw that the hike to our accommodation was totally worth it. Not only were we staying in a gorgeous little Swiss influenced cottage with a beautifully blooming garden, but each night we had the company of Roman who has lived in the village for 15 years and who had many an interesting story to tell about Guatemalan living. Roman’s generosity didn’t end at opening his home to us. On our first night when our plans of pumpkin soup fell through at the hands of a rotten pumpkin, Roman saved the evening by inviting us to share a fresh vegetable stirfry which he made with homegrown veggies. Happily we were able to repay his kindness with a pumkinless curry the following evening. It was nice to receive some good old country hospitality.

 Roman's cottage, well worth the hike

We soon found that Todos Santos doesn’t have a whole lot of activities to offer outside hiking around its beautiful surrounds. For us, almost immediately it was the people that caught our attention, particularly the men of the village who wear identical traditional dress. Roman even wore parts of the ensemble, I guess after 15 years having scored a gold card in terms of village acceptance. Prominent red and white striped pants teamed with a blue, purple and white striped dress shirt with intricately wool woven collar and cuffs. Most top the outfit off with a straw-like hat, again sporting the stripe theme with a leather studded band intertwined with a cobalt blue material. Although most of the women also dress traditionally, it’s the men who are the most striking, commonly depicted on national postcards. What also struck us were the number of dressmakers in the village who stock only these few materials, and it’s these people who clearly get a lot of business from the adolescent population of Todos Santos. The male teens obviously get their pants specially tailored to mimic the latest international street trends. The look at the moment? Seems to be low rise and very baggy pants with obligatory un-tucked striped shirt hanging loosely over a modern t-shirt, baseball cap occasionally in tow. It would appear that teen rebellion lives, even in this remote place!

The men of Todos Santos

Todos Santos is said to offer a taste of the real Guatemala, and it really does make you smile. The people are so friendly and always wanting to chat, the children happy and healthy with rarely any seen to be begging or working. And this is not to mention the village surrounds. Todos Santos sits untouched in a deep green valley surrounded by the Cuchumatanes mountain range, some of which we explored on a morning walk high around the village outskirts. It may not be luring of the action hungry backpacker but it certainly lives up to its ‘true taste’ name, and the day we spent there was certainly well the gauntlet of chicken buses we endured to get there.